As I begin, I would like to thank each of you for continuing to read my blog. When I started it, I began it as not only an outlet for my frustrations, fear and emotional pain while in the hospital, but I wanted to share Wyatt's progress with our friends and family. While there have been millions of tears shed while sharing our journey, I am sure that there are millions more just waiting to be shared. I know that I don't share as I once did, but I promise to make a concerted effort to be better.
Our boy is now six months old! It seems totally unreal. We are now in a size 3 diaper and his daily improvements are astonishing.
We went to see our pulmonologists, Dr.'s Soares and Fazili on Thursday of this week. At this appointment, he was weighed and measured again. In 10 days, Wyatt had gained 11oz and a quarter of an inch! HOLY MOLY! While I understand that all scales are different, it still means that my baby is growing as he should! He is still in the smaller percentile for his age, but he is growing so fast! Dr. Soares if a Fellow and we saw her when we were in the hospital. She is very warm and caring and I just adore her. Dr. Fazili is the attending and a riot! He has such a sweet disposition and you just want to hug him! Anyway, Dr. Soares asked how Wyatt was doing. Honestly, he has been doing remarkably. I say this reluctantly because every time I say he is doing good, something happens. I told her about how the albuteral treatments had helped Wyatt but that he had not needed one in nearly a week, but continued to sound clear. I told her that he was still apenic, but there had not been issues, per say. So, she wanted to talk about doing some trials of CPAP or off of the vent.
Now, as a mother, I want nothing more than for my child to not need the assist of a machine for him to be able to breathe. However, in order for him to get to this place, he must build that strength back up. And, in order for that to happen, he will have to do these CPAP or off of the vent trials. Also as a mother, I have seen my child turn variant shades of blue more than any person should ever have to experience. With that being said, I was both elated and terrified at the same time.
Dr. Fazili came in to confirm this plan. Let's just suffice it to say that Dr. Fazili probably thinks in that I am a nutso who has no business raising a child. I asked every stupid question under the sun, all while either ringing my hands or chewing my lip (both nervous ticks I have developed, from my mother I am sure). He laughed at me, trying to calm my fears. He reminded me, in his sweet accent, that if the baby started to drop his stats or if he could not tolerate it, we could put him back on the vent AND every person in the room with Wyatt knew how to "fix" it, including me. He reminded me that he would be just next door if for any reason we needed him.
So, they took Wyatt off of the vent, entirely, and out Dr. Fazili went. Talk about a stressful time for mama. I did manage to tell Dr. Fazili, before he went, that I would probably need something strong to drink after this was all done.
I will spare the boring details as well as my nervous laughter for nearly the entire 30 minutes of Wyatt's own, unassisted breathing. What I will tell you is that he never dropped his oxygen saturation below 98, the entire 30 minutes! Praise God! This was a great sign. He was breathing a bit harder near the end, but he never dropped!
Dr. Fazili was very reassured with this. He also wanted to drop Wyatt's vent setting from 14 to 8 and see if he was truly apenic or if he tended to breathe around that number when he slept. If he was indeed apenic, we would simply go back to 14 and let them know.
On Friday we found that Wyatt indeed is apenic. I changed his settings back to 14 and called the office. We will most likely go back in for some sleep studies to determine what's going on with Wyatt.
However, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Wyatt did remarkably off of the vent. On Friday we did another 30 minutes. The doctor ordered him to be off 2 hours and on 2 hours for all of his awake hours. However, as his mama, my heart isn't ready for that much. I know the doctor would not have ordered it if he felt as though he couldn't do it, but I just haven't be able to do it. But on Saturday, he did have a full 2 hours off and never dropped his oxygen saturation below 98. My baby is making leaps and bounds toward recovery. Praise God!!
I want to share with you that I feel as though the PPD is subsiding. It may be that I can see how well Wyatt is doing, or it could be the sunshine. It may also be a medication my OB/GYN put me on. **(Ok, personal warning. You know I don't mind sharing personal information and this blog is no different. If you do not want to learn about personal stuff, please skip directly to the next paragraph. You have been warned.)** Since I am never regular anyway, my doctor prescribed a medication to induce my menstrual cycle if I have not had one in three months or more. Whether the stress or simply I am irregular, a week ago today I began to take this medication. My mood change was nearly immediate. Maybe my hormones were just super duper off from everything. Whatever it is, I don't care, I am just thankful that I am feeling better.
So, I went to the grocery store tonight. Coupons in hand. Let me just say that while I watch the train wreck that is TLC's Extreme Couponing, I by no means desire to be like those men and women. I think it is remarkable how much money they save. However, I feel as though it is an illness to hoard hundreds of boxes of cereal in the top of your closet when they are going to go stale before you consume them all. It would be one thing if you did a grocery swap (that I understand lots of people do when extreme couponing) or donate the excess items not used to various organizations, but to hoard it all like you do merely qualifies you for another reality show about the illness of hoarding. (Off of my soapbox). (Please note that my husband believes I have a mild case of hoard. This and only this qualifies me to be able to complain about others' issues.)
Anyway, back to the grocery visit. I went to Wal Mart. I go to Wal Mart because it is but a block from my home. Also, I went at 8:00 p.m. on a Sunday evening. I generally go at this time in order to miss most of the crowd. Apparently someone forgot to tell people that this is my preferred shopping time because tonight, it was a zoo. UGH!
So, I got Wyatt's diapers, wipes and Mike's deodorant (I had coupons for it all!) and headed for the milk. Ok, back on soapbox for a moment. We use organic milk. It not only tastes better, but it lasts longer and I feel good about consuming it with no hormones. There are tons more reasons that we consume organic milk (and lots of other organic products) but these are the major reasons. Anyhoo, since I am no longer working and we are watching what we spend, organic milk is a luxury that I am not about to forgo. However, where do they get off charging $6.48 for a gallon of milk? I could feed a cow and milk it myself for cheaper than that.
So, I get the milk and make my way to the yogurt and around to the cheese. Then, from no where, a buggy (or cart for those of my non-Eastern KY friends) comes like a bat out of you-know-where at me, full steam. It's a father, his daughter and son in the cart. The father was pushing and was not angry, but appeared to be in somewhat of a hurry. The little boy in the cart (who appeared to be around 2-ish) was crying. The kind of crying that is "I'm tired and cranky and don't want to cooperate" kind of crying. So, the father goes just past me and is talking to the daughter about some kind of food to get. Anyway, I peeked my head around to look at the little boy. He was so tired, I could see it in his little face. So I smiled at him. Just a sweet smile at such an adorable child, making eye contact so he could see me. He stopped crying and smiled back. It was just one of those moments that you feel good about. Just one of those times where you shared a smile with a child at exactly the moment that a child needed a smile. It made my soul smile.
Other events of note at Wal Mart this evening. The smell of skunk was overwhelming in the frozen section. While I did not smell the stench in other areas of the store, I am convinced that there is now a new frozen microwavable meal featuring different roadkill varieties. Yum, possum and gravy, and only 5 minutes on high in any conventional microwave! Just like mama just to make. Don't forget the raccoon and potatoes. You know the skid marks on those are real and not just made to look real! YUM!! Maybe I will take one with me for lunch in the office! (Please note: I feel comfortable talking about such due to my mountainous heritage. I do know people who have eaten both possum and raccoon. To each his own.)
The last note to report was that of a 20-something and her boyfriend. It was very apparent that they had just come from working out, in some form. They were both dressed in shorts, t-shirts and I could see her sports bra. Oddly enough, this is not where the story ends. They passed me in the produce section. I was heading to check out and they were heading into the rest of the store. Sports-bra girl was on the phone talking to someone. I know this only because I could hear her. Frankly, the entire store could hear her. Just as they stopped, approximately 2 feet in front of me, Sports-bra girl reaches down and pulls what was either her undies or her shorts from her neither region. And no, I am not referring to her hind area. Seriously?!?!?! You are in Wal Mart lady! AND, no one wants to see this. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in the produce section in my entire life. I wish I could say in public, but lets be honest, people just don't care anymore! UGH! and GROSS!!
So, I hope that you found my rants to be intellectually stimulating. hahaha While I am trying to stay positive, some days it is hard. However, I am finding such strength and influence in the posts of Belinda Wright. While she is going through difficulties with her own child, he continuous attitude is contagious!
*Please note, if I hear that any of you make millions from microwavable roadkill dinners idea, I will expect royalties!